End of week 14: only about a thousand to go..YAY!

Its not so long since my last post, but that's because IT was late.

I have been following orders and resting, as usual. It seems like I was only on non rest for a week and I'm really getting bored with it. I am also turning into a real insomniac, I think. Its 4:52 am now and I have been awake since about 2. I have been sleeping about 4 hours per day for a while now and its really starting to show. Maybe these hormones will calm down soon and let me rest...EEK.

This week its been a real struggle to eat. I only skipped the one morning sickness pill, Lergigan its called, and it has thrown me completely off track. That or its not working anymore. I pretty much gag at the smell of anything. Including my own shampoo and deodorant. I'm hoping my body will get used to these crazy hormones soon and I can rest and eat. I worry about the baby getting enough food. I do drink alot of water, and the doctor said that even if I am losing weight, the baby with take the nutrients it needs from me.

I have been trying to find info on what is going on with me, and I cant find any. At first I was really freaked out about it, but I have decided that its just not up to me. If this baby is meant to be, it will be. It really hurts to lose them, and probably even more this late, but I cannot force things. I CAN rest and relax and be the best mommy to my little fetus that I can. It makes me nearly cry when I think of it!!! Hormone surge anyone??

So I haven't done the yoga again. I am hoping after my visit on the 17th I will be cleared for activities like that. I am considering joining the swimming place since he said it would be fine to do that. Its just such a weird feeling when my cervix moves down SO low when I move. I am scared to do alot, even if its water exercises.

With this week ending, I am feeling truly like I am at a safer point. My doctor warned that a miscarriage CAN still occur even to week 16, but he sounds pretty certain that it wont. And that makes me feel very good. It seems impossible to lose the baby when you have seen its heart beating away. And its little skeleton. It was incredible to see the spine and ribs and all the limbs and every bone in its little body on this ultra sound. I keep imagining holding it in my hands. Its like the size of a kitten now. It just amazes me!! The baby measured exactly as it should have. Head and body are both developing perfectly.

I got the appointment for my big ultrasound on April 25th. Seems odd since I have had quite a few already, but I guess at that week they want to measure everything and try to tell the gender. I really cant wait. Marcus and I are really thinking girl. Its just a deep feeling both he and I have. Hard to explain. I will be totally happy if I find out its a boy, but shocked. I have done all of those old wives tales tests, and they ALL say its a girl. And that was after Marcus and I both started calling it her. LOL. Either way, I cant wait!!

I have decided against most prenatal testing and made that solid this week. I am a worrier by nature, and I just figured the more I know, the more I will worry. I don't worry about "defects" anyways because this baby will still be my baby and will have all of our love and support. The only think I kind of worry about is the illnesses that cause death quickly after birth. I just don't know what I would do if that happened. But I feel 99.9% sure it wont happen anyways. Marcus and I are both healthy. The idea of a big ole needle poking around in there worries me far more, especially since it can cause miscarriage.

We also made a list of names this week. It gets kind of hard when your siblings all have kids, and your friends too, because alot of great names are taken. LOL. I have found several that I love and hopefully still will when the baby gets here.

Next post, probably in a few days, I promise some pics. I just have felt so badly and my looks really reflect that. Plus my face is getting really fat!!! Its all part of the deal, I know. I just have to get used to being a whale.